Have you ever had trouble reading a font, and misread a familiar phrase? Well today, I read the first commandment as "Thou shall not have goals before me." And I did a double-take.
Not a misprint. I just can't read at 8am, I guess. But this was exactly what I needed to hear.
I'm a very ambitious person, and often need a reality check on just how much a healthy person should do in a day. Not "can" but should. My last semester of college consisted of 19 credits, a research project and presentation (not for class) that took basically the amount of time of another 3 credit class, 2 shows in the theater department, weekly roommate dinners, and interviews for jobs for after graduation. Somehow I lived, and moms out there probably think "that's nothing," but my point is; I like to be doing a billion things.
Right now? I'm building 2 businesses, working 2 other part-time jobs, trying to get in better shape, balance relationships(like my marriage!), and make sure my cat gets enough attention in a day. Life is nuts, but it is somehow balanced...IF I have my priorities straight. I felt like my life was falling apart about 3 weeks ago. The main thing I have changed has been going to Adoration weekly, and taking time to pray for at least 10 minutes a day. My goals were getting in the way. I was trying to be the ultimate wife, rockstar business owner, washboard abs goddess but forgot about being a daughter of God, and spending time with my Creator.
WHAT THE WHAT?!
We. All. Do. This.
My goals are not bad. We often desire good things but we don't desire them in a way that is in line with God's plan. We often try to do all these things and forget what is most important. Sometimes all we are being asked to do is wait. "Not now, but someday. Trust me."
Some things can wait, they are worth waiting for (bigger things like marriage, kids, starting a new career, etc) Some things can wait, they don't have to get done today (like the dishes or becoming a fitness model overnight).
This mindset takes humility. It takes being patient with yourself, with God, and your life. It means having Him as your Primary Goal because we all want to spend eternity with Him! It means letting him put everything into place while you keep your eyes on the prize...Him.
This may be a no-brainer for many of you, but life is not like TV. Yet I just spent the last year watching TV shows with groups of friends that made me nostoligic for my own group of people.
No, my friends and I didn't have a bunch of sex with each other (except for the half of us who married each other), but we did have spots we would hang out and just talk. All. The. Time. About anything. And everything.
I flip on an episode of "Friends" and hear them all start randomly singing the theme song to a game show...and I miss my people. I flip on "Community" and miss our attempted study sessions that ended in laughter and late nights trying to make up for "time wasted." I flip on an episode of "Fear Factor" and remember all our lunches in the caf....
Ok, that last one isn't true. But I have been missing livong closer to my friends lately. It's just nice having people close by, able to pop over and be there to talk about nothing or that something that has been weighing on you.
But life can't go on like that forever. At the end of these shows, the characters moved on because they got married ,started families, got new jobs, etc. For those who are nerds like me, I'll have you know that "Friends" ended for those same reasons but in the actors' real lives. And while the change is bitter sweet, it shows us that real, authentic life cannot be like TV. Reality TV doesn't count, that's not beautiful and is far more dramatic than any show I care to watch.
So while I enjoy reminiscing about "the good old days" of college and early twenties, my life now is at that part that makes everyone tear up(you know you cried at Pheobes wedding, or when Monica and Chandler have kids to love). I got married this summer. My husband started a new job. And we are hopefully starting a family soon. It's a crazy, beautiful life.